Thursday, March 3, 2005 from Cohutta

Maybe if we could edit the Ten Commandments we could reach some agreement about public displays. Here are some suggestions:

First Commandment: Throw it out. The government is incapable of determinining what a false anything is; twenty-dollar bills being an exception.

Second Commandment: Get rid of it. In this country we can have all the graven images that we want; they're called collectibles and posters of sports heroes.

Third Commandment: No to this one too. Even the FCC can’t stop people from saying Goddammit.

Fourth Commandment: It's gotta go. Nobody has to go to church unless they're running for public office..

Fifth Commandment: Come on! Have you seen some of the fathers and mothers out there?

Sixth Commandment: Murder, a no brainer for staying (unless, of course you're killing foreign or domestic enemies, doctors who perform abortions or homosexuals)

Seventh Commandment: No, it may not be right, but remember that the Republicans don’t want to be in the bedroom (unless it's yours or they’re actually committing adultery).

Eighth Commandment: Okay, this should stay; it’s a law, but sometimes public officials, religious leaders, government and big corporations are exempt.

Ninth Commandment: A keeper that needs to be tweaked. It’s called perjury or libel, but if you can get a spokesperson to spin it properly, it'll hard to identify it as false witness.

Tenth Commandment: Get real! Coveting is what keeps our economy going.