Friday, February 4, 2005 from Cohutta

I have bladder cancer, but this blog is not really about that. It’s about perspective. First of all, I’m being treated and there’s no reason to think that it won’t be successful. However, awhile back while I was researching doctors and my treatment options, I came across a lot information about 5- and 10-year survival rates. I pictured them as numbers over our heads. I realized that while they are statistically important, an individual’s number is influenced by many factors: the type and stage of the cancer, the health and lifestyle of the person, the doctor who is treating it and where the treatment takes place (unfortunately), family history, etc. The fact is that, cancer or not, we all have numbers over our heads but none of us knows what they are. I decided that mine really doesn’t make any difference as long as I’m doing everything that I can. We can influence our number but it truly remains unknowable until after the fact. We should be living our lives honestly, no matter what the number is. I can truthfully say that I don’t know what mine is and if I had a chance to peek at it I wouldn’t.